Beatles Trivia – Even Easier! (put on your Beatles-as-jokesters hats to answer the questions) | Page 277 | Fab Forum | The Beatles Bible

George, because Yoko had broken into his house at night with a torch looking for his biscuit barrel.

Who was the barber in Penny Lane ?

Ringo: air saxophone
George: air ocarina
Paul: air tambourine
John: air conditioning

What are all these people doing in Paul’s living room?

Ah yes the Magical Mystery bus driver, he had a lot more to do with 1968 than you think. In February 1968, he successfully convinced Paul to release Lady Madonna and Hey Bulldog as a double A side, then when he noticed that Paul was more interested into his Hofner and Rickenbacker basses than him (this bus coach is gay), he decided to take him on a vacation to Rikikesh, where he was secretly planning on being romantic with him. Unfortunately, he asked the other Beatles if they wanted to join him, as well as Eric Clapton, The Rolling Stones, George Martin, Brian Wilson, and The Jimi Hendrix Experience, and their families, who all said yes, except for Noel Redding, Bill Wyman, Charlie Watts, and Mick Jagger, it sure was a good thing that he still had his Magical Mystery Bus. On the last day, Paul told him that although he likes him as a friend and that he reminds him of Brian Epstein, he is straight and then proceeded to show him a talking black and white Super 8mm film he regularly carries with him on long trips of him having sex with Lizzie Bravo after she recorded her backing vocals for Across The Universe , he claims he did Gayleen Pease after that (the deal being that if they recorded the backing vocals, they would have sex with him), but the film ran out halfway through Lizzie. This pissed off the bus driver because this meant that Paul didn’t want to be with him, so he got some passive aggressive revenge. First, he sanded off the finish off of John and George’s Casinos, John’s J-160E, and Paul’s Rickenbacker (he tried to do this with George’s Strat, but George beat him up before he could). Then, he broke Ringo’s wrist on his way to the recording studio to record Back In The USSR , but since none of the other Beatles believed his story so he walked out until his wrist healed. After that, he stole both Paul’s Rickenbacker and Hofner basses and hid them on the roof, inserting shock collars on them so that if Paul tries to take either of them off the roof, the pickups will explode and light both basses on fire, forcing Paul to use his original Hofner on the video for Revolution , as well as making him use his Jazz Bass for the rest of the songs on the album. He later did added internal shock collars to his other basses and electric guitars as well, forcing Paul to stick to piano and acoustic guitar during January 1969 until one day he found out about all of this and decided to play on the roof, recording Get Back , Don’t Let Me Down , I Want You (She’s So Heavy), Dig A Pony , I’ve Got A Feeling , One After 909 , and Get Back (Reprise) live on the roof on January 30th as a while band, this caused the shock collars to be disabled and the Magical Mystery bus driver decided to blow his brains out the following day.

Why did they have a bunch of mental hospital patients record backing vocals for I Am The Walrus instead of The Beatles themselves.

They all had specific phobias. John had a fear of Paul being exposed as William Shears Campbell, Paul had a fear of being exposed as WSC, George had a fear of biscuit snatchers and Ringo had a fear of his nose shrinking. 

Where were The Beatles going when they were photographed crossing the road? 

Sgt Pepper had a day off, so he didn’t teach any bands to play.

On the programme The Songs Of Lennon And McCartney, who were the guests and which Beatles songs did each perform?