4.43pm
Moderators
15 February 2015
^^ SO SCARY
Edit: Oh, thank god, ’tis now buried on the previous page.
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4.47pm
1 November 2013
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6.29pm
28 July 2015
6.44pm
Moderators
15 February 2015
natureaker said
I’m not sure whether to be laughing or terrified. So, I’ll just say this is the look on my face —->
This was (literally) the look on mine:
I kid you not.
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11.51am
27 April 2015
12.02pm
1 November 2013
I think the first one hasn’t been posted before.
I’m trolling around for some bad Beatles Fanfiction. When I find some hidden so bad it’s good gem, I’ll post it here.
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12.07pm
27 April 2015
12.27pm
1 November 2013
But wait there’s more
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6.22pm
5 February 2014
6.52pm
1 November 2013
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9.12pm
Moderators
15 February 2015
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12.35pm
Moderators
Members
Reviewers
20 August 2013
One writer’s take on which Beatles song represents each of the US presidential candidates.
****
Sources: Ted Cruz ‘Such a Douche He Doesn’t Even Like The Beatles’
HOMESTEAD, IOWA — With the Iowa caucuses under way today, Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is in the state trying to drum up last minute support away from billionaire Republican primary front runner Donald Trump, but one source close to the campaign is telling us at time of publication that Cruz is hiding a “terrible secret” that “could ruin his political career.”
“Senator Cruz is such a douche he doesn’t even like The Beatles,” a Cruz aide, speaking on condition of Mountain Dew and Doritos, told us via email. She said that “the wold can tell he’s a turbo-douche” when Cruz “talks about guns, God , New York liberals, or pretty much you know, any time his mouth is moving and food isn’t being shoveled into the gaping maw.”
The anonymous aide said a little later in her email that the Cruz campaign had conducted internal polling and found that 85% of the Republican households they called “didn’t mind at all” Cruz’s stances on gay marriage being evil, climate change being not that big a deal, and the poor not needing health care, but that once they asked if they’d vote for a candidate who didn’t like The Beatles, “even Republicans, who hate virtually everything and everyone not them or not related to them” would not, according to the aide.
“We had one respondent tell us that Senator Cruz had better not say that he doesn’t like The Beatles in front of her, because she’d smack his mouth of his slimy face,” the aide said, “because people really love the Beatles, but they barely tolerate Cruz…if he’s the only candidate left…and if they haven’t died in a fire or some other preferable fate than voting for him hasn’t happened before Election Day.”
Reached for comment, the other Republican primary contenders wasted no time raking Cruz over the coals.
“I’m a big, bloviating idiot who in 2016 still thinks pot is evil,” New Jersey Governor Chris Christie told the media, “and I still like The Beatles. Do we really want the kind of a*****e who doesn’t like ‘I Am The Walrus ’ having the nuclear launch codes? I don’t think so.”
Cruz has told his staff he doesn’t like The Beatles because he “still hasn’t forgiven that Lennon creep for the Jesus comment,” referring to the 1966 controversy when the late-Beatle quipped that his band had become more popular among British teenagers than Christianity. The comment touched-off a firestorm of anti-Beatle sentiment in the United States and sources in the Cruz campaign say that while the Canadian-Cuban-Texan wasn’t born until about four years after Lennon made the comment, Cruz still feels personally wounded.
“Look, I was only three when Roe vs. Wade came down, and I have fought tirelessly my whole adult life against it,” Cruz is said to have told one staffer, “so yeah, even though I wasn’t even alive when he said it, I’m offended for Baby Jesus that Lennon said it, so no, I don’t like the Beatles.”
Trump, hearing the news said, “That’s really unfortunate. Yooge problem for Ted, yooge. I of course was in the Beatles for a brief time, being the winner I am. I was also in the Rolling Stones, landed on the moon and this is my real hair.”
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1.44pm
Moderators
15 February 2015
Some people are stupid.
*Warning: Rant ahead*
As big a Beatles fan as I am, I wouldn’t vote for a man (or woman) based on his (or her) tastes in music; I’d vote for him/her based in his/her politics. I mean, it’s not like Mr Cruz can take any legal action against the Beatles, right? He’s not going to pass a law saying ‘I don’t like the Beatles so no one in the United States Of America can listen to Beatles music.’ That would not only violate the Constitution, it would be just plain silly. If he’s petty enough to still hold John’s flippant comment of 1966 against the band, all these years later, that’s his problem. My only worry is that someone that thick might have errors in judgement elsewhere. If his politics are sound (and I’m not saying they are), however, then I fairly don’t give a hoot about his taste in music, however terrible it may be.
*Rant over*
And some people never know… how amazing the Fab Four are… Isn’t It A Pity .
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2.09pm
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Moderators
1 May 2011
Mr Cruz should get a point for being honest and admitting he doesn’t. Far prefer that than him being like most politicians who when asked about anyone famous give the pre-arranged not-to-lose-face “of course I’m a fan, he/she is wonderfully talented”.
“I’m a big, bloviating idiot who in 2016 still thinks pot is evil,” New Jersey Governor Chris Christie told the media, “and I still like The Beatles. Do we really want the kind of a*****e who doesn’t like ‘I Am The Walrus ’ having the nuclear launch codes? I don’t think so.”
Not sure I’d want someone who says the above comment as he comes across as a right idiot. What happens if you love the Beatles but don’t like ‘IATW’? Can than person still get the code?
Are politicians in the US really this stupid?
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4.00pm
Moderators
Members
Reviewers
20 August 2013
I think this was all tongue-in-cheek. That’s why I put it in the LOL thread.
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3.15am
22 September 2014
In the US, our political system, and especially the electoral process, is an endless source of parody and sarcasm. The candidates are such easy targets because of the fact that they have to try to appeal to the widest possible cross-section of voters, many of whom are so obtuse or single-issue focused that they can only respond to political arguments like Pavlov’s dogs.
I can clearly see the thought process of the writer in putting together this parody, and it speaks volumes about the almost universal regard the general populace has for our Idols, the Beatles. “Hmm, what is the most ridiculous thing you could say about someone to demonstrate that they are an ignorant blow-hard? I know, I’ll posit the the notion that they don’t like the Beatles. That is the perfect way to label someone as a worthless douche out of touch with reality.”
I think it’s funny.
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Beatlebug, Ahhh GirlI say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did'.
Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake, 1997
7.46am
27 April 2015
9.38am
1 November 2013
Who was better? Vote now!
[sp_show_poll id=”100″]
Side note, 100th poll!
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10.58am
1 November 2013
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