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5.04pm
14 December 2009
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McCartney, Ono Announce Nuptials
NEW YORK (AP) – Claiming that they could no longer ignore the “unspoken, smouldering passion” that has existed between them for over 40 years, music legend Sir Paul McCartney and noted recording artist Yoko Ono announced their plans to wed yesterday at a press conference in New York City.
The announcement came as a surprise to a public that has witnessed many public displays of disaffection and “downright hostility” between the two since Ono first came into the public’s eye as the romantic partner to McCartney’s erstwhile musical partner, the late John Lennon . As the two chief creative forces behind popular 1960s rock combo The Beatles, McCartney and Lennon’s songs, both those written in partnership and individually, have resulted in record sales of over 1.2 billion units sold worldwide. McCartney and Ono scoffed at the suggestion that the union is intended as something more akin to a “merger” for financial reasons, than a genuine demonstration of love and devotion. McCartney further denounced rumours of personal conflicts with Ono regarding songwriting credits on Lennon-McCartney compositions. Ono, for her part, laughed at rumours that she had used her “Japanese connections” to have McCartney arrested and incarcerated in a Japanese prison for 10 days after the singer was found in possession of marijuana in 1980.
“If I did have Paul held in a prison, it would only be because I wanted him all to myself,” Ono joked.
Wishing to avoid excess publicity, the couple have set the date of the union as April 29, when most of the media’s attention will instead be focused on the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
Asked if the partnership will be a creative as well as personal one, McCartney confirmed that a recording project – a “Wedding Album ” – is underway and will be streamed live following the wedding ceremonies. The first single reportedly consists of 30 minutes of Ono and McCartney chanting one another’s names to the accompaniment of bird calls.
The couple will reportedly maintain dual residences in New York and London.
The following people thank Von Bontee for this post:
Starr Shine?, Mr. KitePaul: Yeah well… first of all, we’re bringing out a ‘Stamp Out Detroit’ campaign.
5.07pm
19 September 2010
Offline Genius!!!! Thank god they realized something was going on.
As if it matters how a man falls down.'
'When the fall's all that's left, it matters a great deal.
6.46pm
1 May 2010
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Damn Yoko.. first John now Paul.. that girl wants it all!!
So that means that Sean will call Paul Dad?? 
Von : Brilliant! I love that of “chanting each other's names with sounds of birds” LOL!!!!!!!! “Yoko… Paul!!! Yoko… Paul!! Yoko.. Paul” 
Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……
Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…
Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.
Beware of Darkness…
7.16pm
14 December 2009
Offline Mith, truth is stranger than fiction, haha! :
https://www.beatlesbible.com/p…..ing-album/
(Edit: I’m just now noticing that somebody else did the same thing on Dia de los Santos Inocentes, and that you provided the link for it on the derail thread! A total coincidence, I swear – I didn’t see that item back in December and would’ve written something else if I knew it existed.)
Paul: Yeah well… first of all, we’re bringing out a ‘Stamp Out Detroit’ campaign.
7.17pm
Reviewers
14 April 2010
Offline Holy Onion, Batman! Where did you find that article?
The following people thank Zig for this post:
EvangelineTo the fountain of perpetual mirth, let it roll for all its worth. And all the children boogie.
8.02pm
7 August 2010
Offline Is… this…. TRUE????
I know its April Fools but is this true????
Dear Prudence
Giving you quality -Facepalms- , since August 7, 2010.
8.33pm
1 December 2009
Offline Yes, it's true…that today is April 1st, Pru!
It is quite Onionesque, isn't it, Zig? (Or an Onion ripoff anyways.) It was actually written by a “close acquaintance” of mine.
GEORGE: In fact, The Detroit Sound. JOHN: In fact, yes. GEORGE: In fact, yeah. Tamla-Motown artists are our favorites. The Miracles. JOHN: We like Marvin Gaye. GEORGE: The Impressions PAUL & GEORGE: Mary Wells. GEORGE: The Exciters. RINGO: Chuck Jackson. JOHN: To name but eighty.
8.36pm
19 September 2010
Offline Which is newspaper jargon for MASSIVE RIPOFF
As if it matters how a man falls down.'
'When the fall's all that's left, it matters a great deal.
8.36pm
7 August 2010
Offline That does make me feel a bit better.
Dear Prudence
Giving you quality -Facepalms- , since August 7, 2010.
8.50pm
1 May 2010
Offline LOL!! I remember that article…. it was hillarious!
Oh for Lennon's sake.. did they do that?? *writing in her to do list : DO NOT listen to the Wedding album*
Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……
Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…
Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.
Beware of Darkness…
8.59pm
1 December 2009
Offline Haha, it's still more enjoyable than “Two Virgins “!
GEORGE: In fact, The Detroit Sound. JOHN: In fact, yes. GEORGE: In fact, yeah. Tamla-Motown artists are our favorites. The Miracles. JOHN: We like Marvin Gaye. GEORGE: The Impressions PAUL & GEORGE: Mary Wells. GEORGE: The Exciters. RINGO: Chuck Jackson. JOHN: To name but eighty.
9.01pm
19 September 2010
Offline vonbontee said:
Haha, it's still more enjoyable than “Two Virgins “!
But, in all honesty, that`s not saying anything.
As if it matters how a man falls down.'
'When the fall's all that's left, it matters a great deal.
9.40pm
9 June 2010
Offline 
I laughed so hard I cried.
If I seem to act unkind, it's only me, it's not my mind that is confusing things.
1.56am
4 December 2010
Offline *high five*
Can I attend the wedding?
*9* The universe says I can.
Well we all shine on like the moon, the stars, and the sun.
3.52am
25 November 2010
Offline Oh, VonBon, I love you so for this joke.
Not that it would apply to you but one of my friends on Facebook trotted out the “I'm pregnant” status update today.
7.29pm
16 February 2011
Offline I laughed at the prison part 
. Ohh, Yoko, you are so naughty
4.38pm
1 December 2009
Offline McCARTNEY, ONO COLLAB IN WORKS
First “real” Paul & Yoko album to be released April 18th, the exact midpoint between their respective birthdays of June 18 and February 18. Regarding the significance of the number 18, Yoko noted that, as John Lennon considered 9 to be a lucky number, the two shared birthdays on the 18th is bound to be four times as lucky.
Album to be entitled either Two Single Fantasies or Widow, Widower, Widowest.
The following people thank vonbontee for this post:
BeatlebugGEORGE: In fact, The Detroit Sound. JOHN: In fact, yes. GEORGE: In fact, yeah. Tamla-Motown artists are our favorites. The Miracles. JOHN: We like Marvin Gaye. GEORGE: The Impressions PAUL & GEORGE: Mary Wells. GEORGE: The Exciters. RINGO: Chuck Jackson. JOHN: To name but eighty.
4.43pm
Reviewers
14 April 2010
Offline 
Nice.
Widowest – isn't that the backing vocal in the song The Lion Sleeps Tonight?
*18* – can't make this up.
To the fountain of perpetual mirth, let it roll for all its worth. And all the children boogie.
5.39pm
1 May 2010
Offline vonbontee said:
McCARTNEY, ONO COLLAB IN WORKS
First “real” Paul & Yoko album to be released April 18th, the exact midpoint between their respective birthdays of June 18 and February 18. Regarding the significance of the number 18, Yoko noted that, as John Lennon considered 9 to be a lucky number, the two shared birthdays on the 18th is bound to be four times as lucky.
Album to be entitled either Two Single Fantasies or Widow, Widower, Widowest.
*zigs with coffee* Von you're on a roll this week!! I start feeling sorry for John!! LOL!! 
Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……
Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…
Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.
Beware of Darkness…
9.15pm
1 December 2009
Offline And I made myself feel sorry for Linda – April 18 is the day after she died… :/
The number is nine
GEORGE: In fact, The Detroit Sound. JOHN: In fact, yes. GEORGE: In fact, yeah. Tamla-Motown artists are our favorites. The Miracles. JOHN: We like Marvin Gaye. GEORGE: The Impressions PAUL & GEORGE: Mary Wells. GEORGE: The Exciters. RINGO: Chuck Jackson. JOHN: To name but eighty.
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