John's Letter to Cyn 23rd Aug 1965 | Fab Forum | The Beatles Bible

Just saw a letter John wrote to Cynthia on the US tour August 23rd 1965 (one day before the Peter Fonda She Said She Said incident). I hadn’t seen it before but maybe it’s in Hunter Davies book? Just thought it was interesting how emotional John was and how he mentioned feeling bad about not seeing Julian.

“It’s not much bother really, is it? When you think about it – cause I’m sure Dot (Dorothy Jarlett, the housekeeper at Weybridge) and Lil (Lillian Powell, Cynthia’s mother), Bengie, Tommy, wee Jocky etc. can understand something as simple as us wanting to be alone for a day. I don’t mean Julian tho’ – I mean don’t pack him off to Dot’s or anywhere – I really miss him as a person now – do you know what I mean – he’s not so much ‘The Baby’ or ‘my baby’ any more. He’s a real living part of me now, you know he’s Julian and everything and I can’t wait to see him, I miss him more than I’ve ever done before – I think its been a slow process my feeling like a real father! I hope all this is clear and understandable.
I spend hours in dressing rooms and things thinking about the times I have wasted not being with him – and playing with him – you knew, I keep thinking of those stupid b*****d times when I keep reading bloody newspapers and other s**t while he’s in the room with me and I’ve decided its ALL WRONG! He doesn’t see enough of me as it is and I really want him to know and love me and miss me like I seem to be missing both of you so much.
I’ll go now ’cause I’m bringing myself down thinking what a thoughtless b*****d I seem to be – and its its only sort of three o’clock in the afternoon and its seems the wrong time of day to feel so emotional – I really feel like crying – its stupid – and I’m choking up now as I’m writing – I don’t know whats the matter with me – Its not the tour thats so different from other tours – I mean I’m having lots of laughs (you know the type he! he!) but in between the laughs there is such a drop – I mean there seems no in-between feelings.
Anyway I’m going now so that this letter doesn’t get too draggy.
I love you very much.
To Cyn
from
John xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
PS. Say hello to Charles etc. from me.
P.P.S. I think you can ring me if you have a phone there
try – if not I’ll see you in about a week.
271-6565
LOS ANGELES
CALIFORNIA
P.P.S.
Its Monday the 23rd today and I leave this house next Monday the 30th of August – so try to phone”

Hopefully this link will work https://www.facebook.com/anna……7546237309