The "Incredibly Impossible to Derail This Thread" thread | Page 1035 | Fab Forum | The Beatles Bible

I just spent a half hour at least reading old posts in this thread and I really wish I had joined earlier, I’ve missed so much

My eyes feel strange >.>

StrawberryFields91 said
Yet another strange post that I’m not sure where to put! 

Warning: This is a long and winding tale. Reveal at your own risk. 

Reveal Spoiler

I promise this will yield something both Beatley and interesting, but feel free to skip to the end. 

Once upon a time (or yesterday night, if you prefer) me and my family went to a Seder (which is basically a celebration where you eat lots of specific kinds of food and do other rituals as part of a Jewish holiday called Passover) which was being hosted by friends of my parents, who happen to have a five-year-old and an eleven-year-old. Of course, there are always many other children, and as the oldest not-quite-adult, I’m expected to babysit them. Now, to put this in some perspective, last year I went to the bathroom for three minutes and when I came back, the kids (one of whom was dangling from a bunk bed) had managed to knock over a dresser (that belonged to someone who was renting out a room in the house) which was covered in makeup bottles that had smashed all over the floor. They blamed all this on one kid who had allegedly turned out the lights (why, I have no idea). The kids also consume a ridiculous amount of sugar every year, which doesn’t exactly help matters. 

Anyway, I was determined not to let anything like that happen this year. As soon as we arrived, the five-year-old dragged me off to look at her collection of plastic eggs she’d gotten from various Easter hunts. She had figured out that she could stack the tops of the eggs to make a “snakey” and wanted me to help her make a longer one. Which I did. Then, she made me help her make various obstacle course for the the “snakies.” Then I had to do that for the next fifteen minutes until dinner, because every time I tried to escape she would grab my shirt and scream “SNAKIES!” until I sat back down. 

After dinner, I ran upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door, hoping she wouldn’t find me. A minute later, she was outside the door yelling at me to come out, which I had to do. I played “snakies” for another fifteen minutes, until her eleven-year-old sister saved me by asking if everyone wanted to play a board game. That was also torture, but at least it wasn’t as bad as before. I saw a DVD of Help on the shelf, and asked the eleven-year-old if she liked The Beatles. She said she really liked Help , Sgt Pepper , the Yellow Submarine soundtrack, and the Blue Album (which she referred to “the one Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds was originally on”). She then thrust a book of Beatles piano music at me, and asked me if I could play any Beatles songs on piano. I said I could, and showed her. That was when I noticed what looked like the original 1966 release of the Eleanor Rigby /Yellow Submarine single hanging above the piano. I asked her if I could look at it, and she said yes (apparently her grandma gave it to her). I took it down, confirmed it was what I thought it was, and immediately started taking a million pictures of it. At this point, the five-year-old noticed where I was, yanked on my shirt, and started yelling at me to “stop looking at a CD and come play snakies”. I tried to explain to her that I was busy and would play with her in just a minute, but she got really mad and tried to grab the record out of my hand. I was really worried she was going to damage it, so I had to stop taking pictures and put it back in the sleeve. Then I ran upstairs, locked myself in the bathroom, and listened to Run Of The Mill twice to get the whole experience out of my head. I’m really good with people that way. 

  

Yikes, that sounds terrible– seems that you handled it very well though. I relate though– every year we go to my great aunt’s house for a Seder and every year my (now ten-year-old) cousin is insane and we have to monitor his intake of grape juice or he’ll tear the house apart.

I’ve never had any Beatley moments there though 🙁

My bunny is licking the couch in a very aggressive manner and I’m not sure what to do about it

StrawberryFields91 said
Today, I got the weirdest spam email I’ve ever seen:

Reveal Spoiler

The subject was “Rub any mole and make it dillsove in under 60secs” (copied directly). 

This was the text, except it was highlighted in black so you couldn’t read it:

the climate never suited me The climate of any place where you hev regular work never did an never will suit you, remarked the old mans wife; but the interruption received no comment: such mistaken views of his character were too frequent to make any impression. As I was sayin, Rose, he continued, when we first moved here from Gardner, we lived neighbor to the Watermans. Steve an Rufus was little boys then, always playin with a couple o wild cousins o theirn, considable older. Steve would scare his mother pretty nigh to death stealin away to the mill to ride on the carriage, side o the log that was bein sawed, hitchin clean out over the river an then jerkin back most into the jaws o the machinery. He never hed any common sense to spare, even when he  howsomever, theres another thing they dont an cant never take in, an thats sport. Steve does riverdrivin as he would horseracin or tigershootin or tightrope dancin; an he always did from a boy. When he was about twelve to fifteen, he used to help the riverdrivers spring and fall, reglar. He could nt do nothin but shin up an down the rocks after hammers an hatchets an ropes, but he was turrible pleased with his job. Stepanfetchit, they used to call him them days,Stepanfetchit Waterman. Good name for

 

  

… wow.

I’m speechless.

Perhaps this author has discovered and penned a magical cure for dissolving– I’m sorry, dillsoving— moles? I’ll have to try that out on my chemistry homework sometime.

Beatlebug said
Well, Fiddy, seeing as she lived round the turn of the 20th century, dillsolving moles does seem to be a thing that one would have come up with magical ways to do back then.

  

No no, Beatlebug, it’s dillsoving, not dillsolving. Get it right, will ya?

The real question is, if she lived around the turn of the 20th century, how’d she manage to send that email?

Only five unread threads this morning?

I have an important math test in about five minutes that I should really be studying for. But what am I doing instead? Posting here