It’s hard to, especially when everyone wants you to get a job despite the fact that main reason I attempted suicide was because I didn’t want a job and felt that death was the only way out besides working. I’m going to have some programs and if they try to force me to get a job, I’ll just sign myself up for the military, although I’m morally against it.

These aren’t just those people, I told someone at a meeting I had recently at school that, it’s also my mother.

There’s always time to listen to a 17 minute song, just make sure you have one of these on you.

or alternatively

[Image Can Not Be Found]

or

I see you found the surprise waiting at the end of the rainbow.

Dorothy: it true there will be a musical group 25 years from now called The Beatles that will be even better than here.

Glinda: Yes it is, yes it is, yes it is, yes it is, oh yes it is, yes, yes it is, it’s true

: So this is what it’s come to, creative yet stupid and pointless intermissions

: Ahhh, he’s so cute, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

: Better run

A pet peeve of mine is when people make tobacco look bad, it’s not the tobacco itself that’s bad for you but the added chemicals from the tobacco companies such as rocket fuel and rat poison but if you plant your own tobacco, you’re fine. Also, tobacco is far better for you than alcohol and drugs, smoking tobacco doesn’t get you high or intoxicated.

I thought that tobacco was relaxing, like a 45 year old man sitting on his chair with some tobacco in his pipe.

Also, Starr Shine?, how do you know that is real and not just made up. Although there is lots of useful information on the internet, there is also quite a lot of false information due to the fact that anyone can make a webpage.

To show you an example, I will write a scientific article:

According to new scientific data, we have found out that eating soap can make you live longer, here’s why:

Remember that time you were 4 years old and out of curiosity decided to lick the bar of soap that you used to wash your hands with, I sure know I do, but did you know that consuming soap actually increases your life.

You see, soap contains chemicals that help remove bacteria from inside your body that could otherwise be prevent you from living to 100, this happens due to a process called processing and digestion. When you eat something, your body process and digests the food in your stomach and turns it into waste, whether it be urine or feces, but there’s more to it. If you’ve ever used a blender, you will notice that it mixes everything into a liquid, your stomach does the same thing, so consuming soap would actually clean out your stomach, removing all of the unwanted grease and fat from your stomach. But don’t take my word for it, listen to my friend Joe who has been eating soap every day for over a month.

Yes it’s true, eating soap has really helped me out. First of all, I feel healthier since I started eating soap, my body feels really clean and I feel very energetic. Also, it helps you lose weight. Before I started eating soap, I weighed 295 pounds, now I weigh only 230 and I can still eat 2 large Big Mac meals every day. Finally, it has made me happier. Before, I always felt pissed off, I would regularly punch holes into my wall and my girlfriends kept breaking up with me because I would beat them up when I was in a bad mood but ever since I started eating soap, I have only punched 1 hole in my wall and I can now go on dates without punching somebody.

So the next time you’re around a bar of soap, take a bite out of it, you’ll thank me later at your 100th birthday party.

This one has been bothering me for awhile and it’s about modern math.

I really hate that nowadays in math, they want you to use . for multiplication. According to them, the reason they want you to use . is because using x could get confusing, how ironic. First of all, there are better alternatives to using x rather than . why not use * or (). Also, what looks the most confusing to you:

2×5=10

2*5=10

2.5=10

2(5)=10

If you said the dot, then I don’t blame you, 2.5 looks like 2½ to me, looks nothing like 10. If I saw a food truck and it said I could get 5 hot dogs for $2.5 and he told me “that will be $10”, I would get pretty pissed off at him, I wonder if you non-American people have to deal with this rubbish.

Another quick one, in an episode of King Of The Hill, Hank says “I can’t bring a propane tank on a plane but this old lady gets to bring an oxygen tank”. This really bothers me because he’s comparing something someone needs to live to something that is very dangerous to have on a plane. This would be fine if this was coming from the mouth of somebody who is supposed to be stupid and dumb like Homer Simpson but this is Hank Hill, someone who is supposed to be a stereotypical working man in his early 40’s who always tries to do what he feels is right and has exceptional pride for his country and wants to be the perfect American, this isn’t someone who makes comments like this, it’s just such a stupid thing to have a character like Hank say.

I do know that Uncyclopedia is completely made up, that’s why I used it as a reference because it’s funny to use Uncyclopedia as a reference, I wonder what would happen if I used them as a reference in a public school.

Starr Shine? your 2nd guess is correct, I love to believe in my pre-established beliefs and I will try to find reasons as to why they are true and if I can’t find any, I’ll change my opinion.

Here’s a quick pet peeve, my back really hurts right now.