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12.24pm
31 March 2008
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MrMoonlight said
I’ve just realised that I’m a horrible person. I’m selfish, narcissistic, arrogant, misogynistic and much more. I hate myself.
@MrMoonlight Don’t hate yourself, change yourself. If there’s something you don’t like work on it. There’s plenty of time.
Many people have huge character flaws and don’t realise it, so you’re one step ahead of them (if indeed you do have serious flaws). Why not dwell on what you like about yourself rather than what you dislike? I can’t think of any useful purpose hating yourself serves.
It’s OK, nobody is perfect, but the better people are trying harder to be good. If you want a self-esteem boost, forget about the past, do something uncharacteristically kind and selfless, purely for kindness’s sake. You’ll feel good, unselfish, giving, and will have made the world a little better. 
Cut out the misogyny though. Definitely don’t do that. 
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12.27pm
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1 May 2011
Offline MrMoonlight said
I’ve just realised that I’m a horrible person. I’m selfish, narcissistic, arrogant, misogynistic and much more. I hate myself.
No you are not! If you were do you honestly think folk on here would be so welcoming to you and enjoyed having you around the forum joining in with the discussions, listening to your covers or just talking to you and having a laugh? There have been a number of folk who have frequented this forum who i’m glad have gone away and haven’t come back – you’re not even close to getting near that list.
Take a deep breath and don’t listen to or believe the thoughts that will only drag you down.
If you want a safe place to unload your mind feel free to send me a PM whenever, night or day.
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1.22pm
1 November 2013
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2.06pm
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20 August 2013
Offline MrMoonlight said
I’ve just realised that I’m a horrible person. I’m selfish, narcissistic, arrogant, misogynistic and much more. I hate myself.
Sounds just like the young John Lennon chap that I was talking about in post 224 above. He really was all those things. You don’t come across that way to us. You seem to be a young man trying to find his way in life.
@MrMoonlight, in fact, I logged on this morning thinking about you and the message I am going to write to the both of us here and now.
Expert Textpert’s words of wisdom to me Sunday morning that shook me into that wonderful thought I had later that day were about how changing the very blueprint of our being changes the way we see and react to the world. You and I are both on a quest, a path, which will run us straight into that fundamental restructuring of our ideas that will have us singing and playing in a new key. The new key I am looking for is the one that will help me understand the mindset of those who buck the system/establishment. You have your nice handy list of the new chords of life that you want to learn: kindness, being less self-centric, etc.
I’ve thought about The Beatles lyric “nothing’s going to change my world” quite a bit. Over the years, I thought that the pattern of life/thinking I was in at the moment would never change. Guess what? They (or should I say “I”) changed.
In the words of one wise songwriter we all know and love: “Sing the changes”.
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2.35pm
21 November 2012
Offline School is over and right now I’m in this black hole of ”what on earth am I going to do with all this spare time?”
Also, I’m adding album covers to the songs on my phone. That’ll keep me busy for a while.
2.41pm
1 November 2013
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You could help test out the unofficial back up website I made for this site to make sure it is working fine in case of emergencies (Remember to only use when this site does not work)
You could try to stand on your head
You could also learn to play the belly drums
You can also create a Beatles Bible story
You can continue this thread
You can learn to speak to cats
You can jump
There are so many things to do!
2.46pm
28 May 2014
Offline Annadog40 said
You can also create a Beatles Bible story
We’ve really been working on this one! I can’t wait!
thisbirdhasflown
By hook or by crook, I'll be last in this book.
5.23pm
2 April 2014
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Thanks, everyone. I feel like I should elaborate.
I feel selfish because I always do things for myself and nobody else. It’s not like I want to be any of these things – I just don’t know how to not be. I expect things to go my way all the time because I’m sick of feeling like I do. I’m lazy and I dread the thought of doing things I don’t want to, and I feel entitled to not do so since the very thought stresses me out.
The narcissism… I constantly have delusions of success. I believe things I hope for will finally come true, but I know they won’t. I believe I can make it as a musician but I know it won’t happen when I really think about it. I’ve lost most ties with people after everything that’s gone on.
And the misogyny… I’ve told you about all that stuff about Elizabeth. It’s killed who I used to be, and I’ve become a completely different person. I’ve never been in a relationship before, despite trying for so long. Last year was breaking point for me, really. I finally had the confidence to ask someone out, and it didn’t go the way I wanted after months of hope. Yeah, sure, I’m 14. I’m young. I don’t need to be in a relationship, no; but it’s something I feel would seriously benefit me in terms of mutual support and overall happiness. Being a desire, I feel misogynistic because it’s like I’m treating women as objects to be “won”, as it were (not that specifically, but you get the idea). I can’t help having a goal, having a dream. It’s just a thrill talking to someone I like since it always gives me a feeling like I could have a chance. And really, it’s pretty much one of the only times I’m not depressed, when I feel like I have a chance for things – but again, delusions of success. I could be getting my hopes up for something but it all falls apart again. I ruined Elizabeth for a few months because she couldn’t handle not feeling the same way. She broke down once. And with the people who’ve said might be going out with her or whatever, I despise (not just for that reason, since they’re complete dicks anyway). Don’t get me started on when people tried to tell me “OH HURR DID U NO I SAW ELIZABETH HOLDING HANDS WITH ETH–” f*ck you. You know what that does to me. People have used that guy against me.
But yeah, carrying on from the misogyny thing… again, I constantly feel like I want a girlfriend, yeah. I know I don’t need a girlfriend, but like I said before, mutual support and overall happiness. Of course, though, I don’t have anyone in my school who I feel I like in that way. And if I do find anyone, I never know what to say without coming off as an idiot or creepy. Hell, even on here, with people I even just like the personality of (you know who you are, sorry if i came across as creepy or whatever).
6.39pm
15 June 2014
Offline Woah @MrMoonlight I thought you’re 20-ish!
7.22pm
8 February 2014
Offline @Mr Moonlight , at 14 it’s really quite normal to be wanting a gf all the time, attracted to a different girl every week, and also to be attracted to the opposite sex for, shall I say, “shallow” (read: appearance first) reasons. It’s also normal to be attracted to someone you like as a person – it’s commonly known that a friend looks more attractive as you get to know them and like them. I remember at 20 trying to convince a girl that I really liked as a friend that we should take it a step further. It’s better we didn’t. I didn’t have my first relationship until 16, though I had wanted one for some time. And I’ve ended up just fine as far as love life goes, had my share of successes as well as heartbreaks.
As someone said, you’re a step up on most people being able to identify areas to improve. And two steps up considering you’re 14! But if I may offer advice, remember that your body and mind are changing in drastic ways, and your hormones are running wild. Mood swings are normal. Don’t beat up on yourself – sure, work on self-improvement, but realize that in the next several years you are going to just naturally become a much different person – in looks, personality, interests, and motivations. Something that helped me out in my early high school years was a bench and weight set. Working out is healthy for the body but also very much the mind and emotions. Getting involved in some sort of social activity like a club (start a club of Beatles fans?) can also be a healthy thing for the mind and self esteem.
You sound like (from your other posts as well as this topic) you are mature and sensitive beyond your years. You’re obviously pretty intelligent (after all, you like the Beatles – no not just for that reason, from the tone of your writing 
. Someone thought you were in your 20s, and I also thought you were if not even older.
So, learn to live with the trials and tribulations of dealing with the opposite sex. They go on forever! I’m 51 and still learning about relationships, both romantic and platonic. And the other “character flaws”, work on them but give yourself a chance to develop into the adult that I’m confident will be a good person. Self improvement goes on forever too…so get used to that as well 
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15 August 2013
Offline MrMoonlight said
Thanks, everyone. I feel like I should elaborate.I feel selfish because I always do things for myself and nobody else. It’s not like I want to be any of these things – I just don’t know how to not be. I expect things to go my way all the time because I’m sick of feeling like I do. I’m lazy and I dread the thought of doing things I don’t want to, and I feel entitled to not do so since the very thought stresses me out.
The narcissism… I constantly have delusions of success. I believe things I hope for will finally come true, but I know they won’t. I believe I can make it as a musician but I know it won’t happen when I really think about it. I’ve lost most ties with people after everything that’s gone on.
And the misogyny… I’ve told you about all that stuff about Elizabeth. It’s killed who I used to be, and I’ve become a completely different person. I’ve never been in a relationship before, despite trying for so long. Last year was breaking point for me, really. I finally had the confidence to ask someone out, and it didn’t go the way I wanted after months of hope. Yeah, sure, I’m 14. I’m young. I don’t need to be in a relationship, no; but it’s something I feel would seriously benefit me in terms of mutual support and overall happiness. Being a desire, I feel misogynistic because it’s like I’m treating women as objects to be “won”, as it were (not that specifically, but you get the idea). I can’t help having a goal, having a dream. It’s just a thrill talking to someone I like since it always gives me a feeling like I could have a chance. And really, it’s pretty much one of the only times I’m not depressed, when I feel like I have a chance for things – but again, delusions of success. I could be getting my hopes up for something but it all falls apart again. I ruined Elizabeth for a few months because she couldn’t handle not feeling the same way. She broke down once. And with the people who’ve said might be going out with her or whatever, I despise (not just for that reason, since they’re complete dicks anyway). Don’t get me started on when people tried to tell me “OH HURR DID U NO I SAW ELIZABETH HOLDING HANDS WITH ETH–” f*ck you. You know what that does to me. People have used that guy against me.
But yeah, carrying on from the misogyny thing… again, I constantly feel like I want a girlfriend, yeah. I know I don’t need a girlfriend, but like I said before, mutual support and overall happiness. Of course, though, I don’t have anyone in my school who I feel I like in that way. And if I do find anyone, I never know what to say without coming off as an idiot or creepy. Hell, even on here, with people I even just like the personality of (you know who you are, sorry if i came across as creepy or whatever).
Wow I ALSO LIKE Girls, I´m 12
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9.29pm
1 November 2013
Offline MrMoonlight said
The narcissism… I constantly have delusions of success. I believe things I hope for will finally come true, but I know they won’t. I believe I can make it as a musician but I know it won’t happen when I really think about it. I’ve lost most ties with people after everything that’s gone on.
If narcissism is thinking that you will make it as an entertainer then I am narcissistic too.
In order to make it in entertainment you HAVE to believe you can make it and work hard at your craft and then you can get success if you push and go for it.
If all you do is hope it will not happen you have to do and act on your passion.
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1 November 2013
Offline Watching How it’s Made
specifically how they make various types of food
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5 May 2014
Offline @MrMoonlight 
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5.10am
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4 February 2014
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For you Anna, you need to literally act on it.
@MrMoonlight, like MMM said, you obviously can’t be a bad person because all we on the forum have to judge you by is your character. You have good tastes, and you’re funny in clever ways, which is one of the best ways in my opinion.
Like Anna said, you need to believe you can do it to become someone like a musician or an actor. I hope one day, once I’ve improved enough that I can make a career out of music, even if I have to have a few others first. It doesn’t make you delusional, it makes you, believe it or not, optimistic!
Optimism is never a bad thing, even if you never make it anywhere musically, you would’ve been happy thinking you could, opposed to depressed about failing when you never tried, and you also will have gotten really good at the instrument while practicing to obtain your goal.
If Paul said, “I’m never gonna be anyone, I can’t play guitar,” he wouldn’t have made it into The Beatles to become one of the best singers and bassists around! That also shows that things might not work out exactly how you imagine them, but they can still be great!
On the girl topic, at your age you obviously want a girlfriend, like you said, you don’t need to be in a relationship, but you sure want to and that’s okay. Especially if there’s a girl you enjoy talking to that just makes you happy, “thrills” you, why wouldn’t you? The fact you mentioned that also shows you don’t see women as “prizes to be won,” you seem to value them as people that you can bring mutual happiness to.
So, so far we’ve thrown misogamy, narcissism, and arrogance out the door, just by your words there and the judgement of your character by what you say here, (which seems to be what you feel, honest guy, another positive point there).
I’ve been thinking about any stories I had that are similar to yours, and I have one at least remotely similar from when i was 13-14 that I don’t know why I haven’t told you when you’ve mentioned this before. I’ve decided not to post it here, so PM if you want.
All I know is you just have to get through the tough when it is tough, and you’ll look back later with that as experience. Emotionally stronger, wiser, and ready to have a real meaningful relationship (after a few young, fun ones) with a girl you really love and connect with…. (So I’ve heard )
No matter what, never hate yourself, because the first step to loving others (aka being less “self-centered, arrogant,” entitled, anything that could hurt/hinder others) is to love yourself, flaws included. At that point others can love you for you too.
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5 May 2014
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Just when I thought I had some good, meaningful advice…
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5.18am
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4 February 2014
Offline Mimi said
@Mr. Kite
Just when I thought I had some good, meaningful advice…
Comedic route works too! I’m gonna go learn to be more narcissistic… need to be sure I’m an “absolute narcissist” so I can go make art! 
5.21am
5 May 2014
Offline Mr. Kite said
Mimi said
@Mr. Kite
Just when I thought I had some good, meaningful advice…
Comedic route works too! I’m gonna go learn to be more narcissistic… need to be sure I’m an “absolute narcissist” so I can go make art!
Its not too hard…I mean I do make look the absolute narcissist part of the equation look easy
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9.06am
2 April 2014
Offline @Mimi @Mr. Kite Thank you so much. You’ve gotten rid of my worries (for now, at least
) and you’ve made me feel better about myself so quickly. I’m glad I have you as friends.
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Mr. Kite, Mimi12.24pm
31 March 2008
Offline @MrMoonlight
I’m young. I don’t need to be in a relationship, no; but it’s something I feel would seriously benefit me in terms of mutual support and overall happiness. Being a desire, I feel misogynistic because it’s like I’m treating women as objects to be “won”, as it were (not that specifically, but you get the idea). I can’t help having a goal, having a dream. It’s just a thrill talking to someone I like since it always gives me a feeling like I could have a chance.
Yeah, that’s not misogyny. You’re OK, you’re a good person. You’re sensitive to how other people feel, and I refuse to believe you’re treating girls as trophies.
When I finally got together with Ellie (I’ll save you the back story), I remember texting my housemate: “She’s mine.” I won the prize, I got the girl. But that doesn’t make me a misogynist; I’m actually happy to identify as a feminist.
I also know for a fact that men and women aren’t hugely dissimilar when it comes to objectifying the opposite (or sometimes same) sex, though it always helps to see beyond the surface (and I know you do). We’re all animals with hormones and desires, and although culturally we might try to put a lid on things there’s no harm in having genuine healthy feelings. Also, don’t put women on a pedestal. They’re normal people with complications, emotions, uncertainties, insecurities and well as likes, loves and desires, many of which you might share, many of which might be their own quirks. Everyone has them, even rich, beautiful, successful people.
“Bishop Brennan: The amount of people’s lives irreparably damaged!
Father Dougal: They were only nuns.
Bishop Brennan: Nuns are people too!”
Yes, being in a relationship may well benefit you. It’ll happen. But learn to like, if not love, yourself too. As long as you treat people with respect (don’t go down the Red Pill/pick-up artist route by trying to game women; those people are pricks) you’ll be OK. Be yourself and don’t see sex or relationships as a competition.
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