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Album stories
14 July 2010
11.15pm
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MeanMrsMustard
Nowhere Land
Rishikesh
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The following post, with minor edits, is from the Randomness thread on the All Together Now forum.

mithveaen said:

 Anyway, I Want To Tell You that the Taxman is taking a Yellow Submarine under the command of Dr. Robert because he's honeymooning with Eleanor Rigby and in their vows She Said She Said Love You To .” I'm sorry if you're so desperate to Get them Into Your Life, but they're going and stopping For No One , not even to say Good Day Sunshine , but to be honest, you can tell me that Your Bird Can Sing and I don't care. Actually it's not that I don't care, I'm Only Sleeping. So hush away. I can continue later, but who knows? Tomorrow Never Knows .


 

Do they need to be Here, There, and Everywhere?

Here goes!

Once upon a time, a Girl named Michelle  met a Nowhere Man .

G: Drive My Car .

NM: What Goes On ?

G: Wait I'm Looking Through You, because you're transparent.

NM: If I'm really transparent, You Won't See Me much longer.

G: If I Needed Someone  to chauffeur me around, I'd say The Word .

NM: You're the most confusing person I've met In My Life .

G: Maybe that means you need to Think For Yourself .

NM: If you keep this up, my head will explode. Violently. So I suggest you (Song That Shall Not Be Named). 

So she did. She ended up in the Norwegian Wood , where a startled bird flew away. 

This needs its own thread. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I think you guys get the drift. You can do exact song titles, or you can paraphrase. You can also make one up for an album that's already been done. If you're feeling brave, you can do Past Masters .

Enjoy! 

Edit: Try to keep your stories using songs from one album. If you can't squeeze a song title in, you can do a phrase from the song. 

If I seem to act unkind, it's only me, it's not my mind that is confusing things.

14 July 2010
11.42pm
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A Fiendish Thingy
By the banks of her own lagoon
Paris Olympia
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I'm choosing an easy one… haha. a-hard-days-night-george-9 In letter form! I left out the Revolutions, While My Guitar Gently Weeps , and Don't Pass Me By.

 

Dear Prudence ,

     I Will write to you again soon, it's just that I'm So Tired of hearing that Cry-Baby Cry, and it does it for so Long, Long, Long ! He's definitely not what you call a Mother Nature's Son. It drives me Helter Skelter . I need a fix, 'cause I'm going down. I'm lonely and wanna die. a-hard-days-night-ringo-2 Ah, well. Life goes on, brah.

     (I'll be Back) in the USSR soon, but for now, can you make sure that Martha My Dear is eating her Savoy Truffles and Glass Onions? Make sure she doesn't find out they're made of Piggies . She's allergic to Wild Honey Pie , so be careful with that, too.

    It's almost the Birthday of Julia . My friends are going hunting for a Rocky Racoon in the road as a gift for her. Turns out Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey, Sexy Sadie . [that's the monkey's name, apparently.]

[I give up]

Good Night , Honey Pie .

– Bungalow Bill

I just randomly threw the titles in there, I don't know what I was doing a-hard-days-night-john-6

I'm in love, but I'm lazy.

14 July 2010
11.51pm
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MeanMrsMustard
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That's really good! Hmmm… you could say that the crying baby is so stressful, your guitar is weeping, and it's making you cry(“Don't Pass Me By”). Maybe you feel like starting a Revolution . And the monkey, Sexy Sadie , says “Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine,” all day long. I'm not sure how to insert a “Blackbird ” into this. 

If I seem to act unkind, it's only me, it's not my mind that is confusing things.

14 July 2010
11.54pm
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A Fiendish Thingy
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Oh goodness! I forgot about Blackbird ! a-hard-days-night-george-2 Umm… it says “Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine,” all day long, but beautifully, like a Blackbird . Haha, I don't know! a-hard-days-night-paul-11

I'm in love, but I'm lazy.

15 July 2010
4.25am
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mithveaen
Sitarday's room
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Mean Mr. Mustard.

My former Oh Darling!. I need to tell you something. This is The End . Why? Because

a. you never give me your money.

b. After you said “I want you” you told your friends “She's so heavy“. I'm not heavy!!!

c. I caught you cheating on me with Poythene Pam. You always come together to my house, (the one you always said it was our Golden Slumbers ). And I've got proof, a pic when She Came In Through The Bathroom Window . I know you don't care about your bad actions, but one day my friend, you will have to Carry That Weight !

d. Your putting me down. I know that when you enter in a room you feel so important… as if Here Comes The Sun and you both call yourselves Sun King and Your Majesty, but to me, you only deserve to shovel Maxwell's Silver Hammer…. well at your Octopus Garden. or whenever you prefer.

Fortunately never yours again.

Abbey

Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……

Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…

Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.

Beware of Darkness… 

15 July 2010
7.31am
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vonbontee
Northern Ontario, and in Von Bontee's mind
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“Where were you the night before yesterday?”

“I told you, I was bored. I took a Ticket To Ride .”

“Bullshit! You were out with another girl, weren't you? I know you were, so don't try to deny it. You think you can just stroll on in here and act naturally and that I wouldn't find out about that slut, “Dizzy Miss Lizzie” or whatever she calls herself? You've got to hide your love away better than that if you don't expect to get caught. Frankly, I'd really like for you to Tell Me What You See in her. Me, I've just seen a face and a body and absolutely no substance or scruples. Well, enjoy her all you can, while you can, because I guarantee that she won't be around long. You're going to lose that girl, just like you've lost me. Now get out of my house!”

“But baby, I need you!”

“Well then, You Like Me Too Much , because I don't need you. I used to have a deep affection for you, but now it's gone, and flattery isn't going to help bring it back. But don't worry, it's only love.”

GEORGE: In fact, The Detroit Sound. JOHN: In fact, yes. GEORGE: In fact, yeah. Tamla-Motown artists are our favorites. The Miracles. JOHN: We like Marvin Gaye. GEORGE: The Impressions PAUL & GEORGE: Mary Wells. GEORGE: The Exciters. RINGO: Chuck Jackson. JOHN: To name but eighty. 

         offtopic-1.png

https://rateyourmusic.com/~Myo.....Von_Bontee

15 July 2010
5.02pm
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mithveaen
Sitarday's room
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You're a hard core Beatle fan when you're seriously consideirng writing breaking up letters like these 2 or have discussions with your bofriend like these… LOL!! a-hard-days-night-ringo-8/

 

Very well Mrs. Mustard!!

Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……

Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…

Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.

Beware of Darkness… 

15 July 2010
7.33pm
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MeanMrsMustard
Nowhere Land
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I think you forgot to tell your boyfriend that he really needs help!

If I seem to act unkind, it's only me, it's not my mind that is confusing things.

15 July 2010
8.02pm
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Von Bontee
496 km NW of the '69 Toronto Rock n Roll Revival
Apple rooftop
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My darling Maggie Mae ,

You know how I've always told you there would come a day when I'd have to quit my job in the Complaints Department? Well, I've got a feeling this is the one. After 909 angry customers all screaming “I!”, “Me!”, “Mine!”, I truly can't take it anymore. Come away with me, my darling, and we'll get back on The Long And Winding Road , just the two of us, and head out Across The Universe ! And we don't even need our cars – we can take any mode of travel you like. If you Dig A Pony , then I can dig it too! Or better yet, two ponies! Painted ponies, a red one for me; and for you, blue.

I await your answer, and pray that you let it be “yes”. Please don't let me down!

Your love,

Jojo

 

(OK, that was an hour successfully wasted here at work! Note that I cheated a bit by including both the original and “…Naked” tracks, which surprisingly made it easier rather than harder. Also, my leaving the song titles un-highlighted was deliberate – I just like it better that way.)

Paul: Yeah well… first of all, we’re bringing out a ‘Stamp Out Detroit’ campaign.

         

15 July 2010
9.17pm
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mithveaen
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Von Bontee said:

Or better yet, two ponies! Painted ponies, a red one for me; and for you, blue.

LOL!!! Very clever that one!!

Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……

Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…

Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.

Beware of Darkness… 

15 July 2010
9.36pm
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MeanMrsMustard
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I liked “I've got a feeling this is the one. After 909 angry customers all screaming 'I!' 'Me!' 'Mine!' I truly can't take it anymore.” Very clever.

If I seem to act unkind, it's only me, it's not my mind that is confusing things.

15 July 2010
10.34pm
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Von Bontee
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Thanks! I spent half my lunch break struggling with that one…a-hard-days-night-ringo-13

Paul: Yeah well… first of all, we’re bringing out a ‘Stamp Out Detroit’ campaign.

         

16 July 2010
1.11am
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mithveaen
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Damn it I meant also Von Bontee!!

 

Ok let's see if I can figure this out…

 

A teacher's report on Mr. Big's bad behaviour in class.

 

Ok, Mr. Big I'm sure everybody says, and (Your Mother Should Know ) : All You Need Is Love . But what you really need is to say Helllo and Goodbye to my class because I'm not The Fool On The Hill . How can you say George is better bass player than your classmate Paul? I understand why you say that beacause you always come here Flying and have your personal Magic Mystery Tour, but if you continue like that, kiss goodbye to those dreams baby about you're a rich man, etc etc. You had better get a job on Penny Lane , stop eating those strawberries in that field that take you forever and stop imitating to those blue jays in your way.

 

Hey this is fun!!

Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……

Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…

Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.

Beware of Darkness… 

17 July 2010
3.27am
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Beetle
A terrible pun
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Past Masters counts, right? No way i'm gonna try to tackle both, Just Volume Two.

 

Hey, Jude! I gotta tell you 'bout my girl. She's such a Day Tripper , always acting like she's some sort of Lady Madonna . She thinks everyone Across The Universe was born to serve her. The way things are going, she's going to crucify me, and always leaves me standing in the Rain . I keep telling her that We Can Work It Out , because i really wanna Get Back with her. I don't want her to Let Me Down. But the way she acts, it seems like she's trying to start a Revolution or something. She needs to find her Inner Light and be kind to me. She disagrees with my dream of being a Paperback Writer , and she makes fun of my Old Brown Shoes. Hey, they fit, and they're comfertable. So if she doesn't get her act together, I'm gonna Let It Be . I'll tell her that She Knows My Name, and she can Look Up The Number if she loves me. (yeah, yeah, yeah! a-hard-days-night-george-8)

Writing fifty times, "I must not be soo-oo-o-ooo."

17 July 2010
4.41am
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GniknuS
Rain? I don't mind
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I'll try Pepper:

 

Miss Pepper: Good Morning, class, Good Morning!

Students: Good morning Miss Pepper!

Miss Pepper: Now who remembered to do their homework?

Students: (No reply)

Miss Pepper: No one? Not even you, Rita?

Rita: I'm sorry Miss Pepper, but over the weekend there were men in my house that were Fixing A Hole in my floor, so I couldn't concentrate enough to do the homework!

Miss Pepper: A likely story, Lovely Rita , but that's no more likely than last weeks in which you told me that your kite scared you too much to complete your homework. I mean, a kite! What do you call him again?

Rita: Mr. Kite, but he really does have a face and he scares me quite a bit! Image Enlarger

Miss Pepper: Alright, calm down Rita, at least your stories are getting better…they really couldn't get much worse.

Rita: Thank you Miss Pepper!

Miss Pepper: Alright now, class, I need to stress the importance of doing your homework because life is no fairy tale and my father is a testament to that. He has been in the army for quite some time, so much so that he is now known as Sergeant Pepper! He is someone that has always followed his heart, whether he was lonely or not, and he's never felt the need to be in a club or a band. He's his own man, and if you walked A Day In The Life of Sgt Pepper , you would know what hard work is all about!

Students: Yes Miss Pepper.

Miss Pepper: Right, now Billy! Yes, I'm talking to you Mr. Shears, did you complete your homework?

Billy: I tried to Miss Pepper, honest, I even tried it With A Little Help From My Friends , but it was just too hard for me!

Miss Pepper: Well, what did you find so difficult?

Billy: Well, you know the part of the story where she's leaving home?

Miss Pepper: Where who is leaving home?

Billy: Uh, what was her name? Oh right, it was Lucy! Yeah, right after her mother found Lucy in the sky with her diamonds?

Miss Pepper: You mean where Lucy's mother found her on the roof holding onto her precious diamonds?

Billy: Yeah, that part, I didn't really understand why she needed to leave home.

Miss Pepper: Well that is a complicated matter, sometimes the simplest answers do not flow within you and without you. Some people feel the need to explore the world to find their own inner peace.

Billy: I don't believe that at all Miss Pepper! I think you're full of rubbish and I hope to be much smarter than you when I'm 64!

Miss Pepper: Excuse me, Mr. Shears? If you speak to me like that one more time I will send Sgt Pepper in here to give you a reprisal that you will never forget! Now, let's get back to the lesson.

I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine

17 July 2010
5.38am
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MeanMrsMustard
Nowhere Land
Rishikesh
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That kite is scary.

If I seem to act unkind, it's only me, it's not my mind that is confusing things.

17 July 2010
6.37am
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mithveaen
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Brilliant!!!!

Here comes the sun….. Scoobie-doobie……

Something in the way she moves…..attracts me like a cauliflower…

Bop. Bop, cat bop. Go, Johnny, Go.

Beware of Darkness… 

17 July 2010
7.45am
The CREeK
A Small Town 22 Miles South of Oregon
London Palladium
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Tell Me Why nobody's done this album yet! Someone could have done it Any Time At All ! I mean, the track list is perfect for a story, especially the ones I've read in this thread already! Anyway's I know this girl, she is really cute and all and one of the people who knows me best, despite not being that close And I Love Her . Well, not exactly yet, I don't want to actually. Too many complications! If I Fell in love with her, I will repeatedly tell myself I Should Have Known Better seeing as her boyfriend is a real good friend of mine. I want to tell her “I'm Happy Just to Dance With You” but that wouldn't even work seeing as she is the priest's daughter and I'm a huge atheist, tried to change but I know too much which makes it difficult, and after the Things We Said Today , I will have A Hard Day's Night thanks to insomnia! I guess I'll Cry Instead of sleeping once again. My friends in Vegas heard about my problem and they offered to fly me out for activities I will name but they of all people shoud know that you Can't Buy Me Love, especially the kind of love I'm looking for and could get with this girl. It's common knowlegde that You Can't Do That! Anyways, if I do go,to Vegas, I will conveniently forget my I.D. (because I'm not that kind of guy) and then come back. Anyways, I use the word 'anyways a lot. Of course, if I ever hear of that boy (EXTRA CREDIT!) hurting her, you can bet I'll Be Back in town to cheer her up (because This Boy (EXTRA CREDIT!) is that kind of guy, a good friend).

 

Somewhat true, about maybe 40%-60%

Anyways, Welcome to my life a-hard-days-night-ringo-14

17 July 2010
7.50am
The CREeK
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Your story actually reminds me of a paper my english teacher made us write about excuses for not doing homework, GnikNus. It had to be in some famous form, or the style of a famous author, etc. I didn't do it but my excuse was so good I got an A on the assignment!

17 July 2010
8.51pm
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MeanMrsMustard
Nowhere Land
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RANDOM PERSON: I'd like to buy the Beatles, please. 

SALESCLERK: (No Reply )

RP: YOOHOO! 

SC: Look, Mr. Moonlight

RP: Don't call me that. 

SC: Hey-hey-hey-hey! Sor-RY! 

RP: Every Little Thing I do drives the girls absolutely INSANE. I mean, honestly. This morning, I woke up to hear 50 women knocking on my door! I mean, it's like Everybody's Trying to Be My Baby

SC: So, What You're Doing will help?

RP: Yes, because they will distract them with their Rock And Roll Music

SC: OK, but I'm afraid I can't do this. 

RP: Why not? 

SC: Because they're all playing at a party. I Don't Want to Spoil the Party, after all. 

RP: After it's over, then. You know, the reason I want these women GONE is so the girls won't follow me night and day, Eight Days A Week . I've already got a girlfriend. 

SC: What's her name?

RP: Honey. Don't call her that, though. I call her Baby.

SC: Baby?

RP: Yeah. But Baby's in Black, because she thinks I'll be distracted by the Words Of Love I get from all those stalkers. 

HONEY: Random, what are you doing? 

RP: Erm… 

H: Are you breaking up with me? 

RP: No! I'd walk through fire to be with you! I'll Follow the Sun if you do! 

H: Wow. And here I was thinking, “I'm a Loser for chasing a guy who's so desirable to everyone else. I'd lose him too easily.” 

RP: Let's go to Kansas City to celebrate! 

SC: (After they leave) Whew! 

(The Beatles come out of the back room)

PAUL: That was an AWESOME party, man!

RINGO: Did anything happen while we were gone?

SC: Oh, nothing. Just another guy who tried to buy you.

GEORGE: Who would want to do that? They'd get run over, or get driven insane by security. 

JOHN: I KNEW we shouldn't have called our album that!

DEREK TAYLOR: I TOLD them you weren't actually for sale! 

 

ME: Sorry. I just couldn't resist. 

If I seem to act unkind, it's only me, it's not my mind that is confusing things.

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