"Think For Yourself (Studio Chat)"  | Fab Forum | The Beatles Bible

I found these “Rock Band Mixes” of Beatles songs on Ebay while searching for random Beatles stuff.  Included on these CD’s is described as “Plus the 15 minute long Ultra-Rare Bonus Track: “Think For Yourself (Studio Chat)”

Below it there is a transcript and it’s pretty funny.  

Here it is, enjoy!  

[As the session tape cuts in, Paul is singing a line from George Harrison ‘s newest composition “Think For Yourself “]

John: “We only did it once, right?”
“The first take, you know,”
“now I’ve got it in my bleedin’ mind for remembering it-“
Paul: “I will have a cup. .”

[John, acoustic guitar in hand, starts to play a section of the song, attempting to perfect his harmony]

John: About the good things that we can have if we-
George: “No, play major. . .”

[John gives it another go. Particular focus is being placed on the words “Close our eyes.” Again, they run through it, John trying to get his harmony part down]

George: “. .But that chord. Play that. .that’s. . .”
John: “Aaahrr!. . .” >laughter<

[Again and again. . . John finally thinks he may have it]

John: “Okay.”

[tape edit]

John: “You’ll have to bear with me or have me shot.”

[John and George run through it again.]

John: “We’ll just have to have a go of it, you see.”
George Martin: “Yes, I know exactly what you mean.”
John: “Mmm. . .It could be there, and it couldn’t.”
Martin: “It could be there.”
John: “There. . .or it couldn’t. . .Alright, come along now.”

[Again, John has trouble with the line. Once again, he has a practice go of it]

John (after getting it right): “Sure, that wasn’t the real one.”
“If that works, I’m in for it.”

Paul: “Let’s see what they think about this one.”

[tape edit]

John: “Okay, I think I might have it now. . .”
“I get something in me head, you know”
” and all the worlds of Rome couldn’t stop me.” 

>some chuckles<

Paul: “..pickled onions.”
John: “And I stink, too. I’m waiting for someone to say something about it.”
Paul: (in a funny voice) “It’s that deoderant you use. .It is.”
John: “Cynthia licked it clean before we left.”
Paul: “Let me tell you. . . It’s that B.O. .oderant. .”
“that B.Oderant you’re using. .”

[Paul starts singing] 

be-oderant, that great big be-oderant. .

[John, meanwhile moves back to the task at hand, once again focusing on the troublesome line “Close our eyes.” Trying to perfect the part, he substitutes the three syllables “da-da-da” for “close our eyes.” Then, immediately realizing a similarity, he launches into a da-da-da send-up of the opening line of Paul’s Yesterday .]

Paul: “Keep quiet. .”

[tape edit]

Paul: “Okay, let’s try another one.”
John: “‘Cause he kept pointing over there. . .”
“Why did you keep pointing up there every time?”
Paul: “I was doing it as a joke “
“because every time we came to there, you pointed it out.” 
John: “Well, you know, that was the first time”
“that I went wrong when you started doing that,”
“and ever since then we’ve had this trouble-“
Paul: “Do you wanna fight?”
John: “No.”
Paul: “Okay. Let’s settle it. . .other ways.”

[George laughs]

John: “Do you play snooker? . .I don’t . .Play tennis?”
Paul (referring to a broadcast on television):
“Did you see Rocky Marciano last night?”
John (laughs): “Yeah. .”

[Paul makes some noises, loosely akin to “duh. . .” but relating to boxing in some way]

John: “The whole conversation was about everything else,”
“then he goes (in a funny voice) ‘I remember the great Joe Louis. .’ “

Paul: “He was a great fighter.”
John (quoting the program): “‘And what do you attribute it to, Rocky?’ . .” ” ‘Training’ “
Paul (laughs): “The condition. .”
John: “Condition. .my cond-“
Paul (mocking): “No, I had a good condition. .”
John: “My real name was Rocky – he was proud of it, called him Rocko.”
“That other bum was called Frank.” 
Paul: “Frank Graziano.”
John (yelling, mock scouse): “Somebody up there likes me!”
Paul: “Who is it?”
John (still mock-scouse): “It’s Jesus, Our Lord and Savior. .”
“who gave his only begotten bread for us to live and die on!”

[George laughs]
“And that’s why we’re all here, and I’ll tell you. . .”
“There’s more of them than there are of us. .”
“And that’s why there’s so few of us left?”
Paul (scouse): “Why such fury?”

[John continues with his fire and brimstone delivery]

George: “What is this wrath that beholds you?”
Paul: “Why such fervor? Why such fervor?”
George (laughing): “Okay, let’s go . .”
John: “I thee called, and they bloody well come!”
Paul: “Why? . .Yet, if you look in your bible. . .” 

[Things sort of settle down at this point]

John: “I can’t go on, I really can’t. . .”
“Come on, let’s do this bleedin’ record.”

[Work continues on the George Harrison song Think For Yourself . After another unsuccessful attempt at completing the vocals, particularly Lennon’s harmony, George Harrison speaks to George Martin]

George: “George, can we take it. . .you know, that-“
Martin: “One of those didn’t make it.”
John: “Mine.”

[After a moment, John asks Martin]

John: “Hey, you can do it in bits, can you?”
Martin: “We (can) do it. Let’s have one more go.”
John: “Well, we’ll have one more try, you know, then. . .”
“you know, I . .I can see.”
Paul: “Try. . . It looks like Super-Car is getting out of control, boy.”

[John laughs]
[Paul starts to sing]

Paul: Mar – i -na. . .Aqua Marina. .
John: “Yeah, we’ll do one of them for Christmas.”
George: “Yeah.”

[Paul continues singing]

Paul: How come you f**k up everything that you do?

[George laughs]

John: “I will be pleased to see the earth men disintegrated.”

[tape edit]

George: “Go from. . .just. . .’Although your’. . .”
“you know, the beginning of the last verse.” 
John: “What did you do then, Paul?. . .very interesting.”
Paul (singing in a high-pitched send-up voice):
“Although your mind’s upseh – I can’t explain the things. . .”

[After a quick playback from the booth, John sings]

John: Do what you warry-woo. .

[A moment’s pause before Paul seriously asks:] 

Paul: “Are we getting it already?”
John: “Well, I think we had the rest of it.” 

[After another moment, John addresses the booth above]

John: “It’s not coming through down here if you think it is.”

[George Martin tells the band that they’ll be working on the last verse]

Harrison: “Okay, just before it.”
Martin: “Just before you made the mistake.”
John: “Oh, so we’re gonna do two, in fact.”
Harrison: “That’s ‘Try thinking more, if just for your own sake.’ “
Martin: “I’ll play it for you first, if you want. . .”

[Immediately and simultaneously, John and George reply]

George: “It’s okay, we know. I think we know. .”
John: “No, we know. I mean, this might be it. . .”
George: “We just go ching-aching-a-ching bom bom bom. . .”

[After making their point, in a rather funny moment, John turns to ask George] 
John: “Which bit are we going-“
George: “Just before I sing. . .”

[George Martin comes back on the intercom, laughing]

Martin: “Okay, John. You know it, don’t you?”

[Harrison finishes explaining to John]

John: “Oh, yeah. . .yeah, yeah. .why not?”
George: “Just the last whole last verse.”
Martin: “Here we come. .”
Paul: “Sure. He’s gotta lead us in.”

[tape edit]

John: “I’m sorry. Sometimes I feel less than useless at these sessions.”
“I really do. Of course, Cynthia understands. “
“I often talk to her about it when we get home.”
“I say, ‘Sometime, you know, Cynthia, I just can’t get the note.'”

Paul: “Yeah, . . .well.”
John: “She understands alot of things like that”
“because she went to Bailey . . .for our holidays. .”
“. .You know, ‘belly’ elich-” [starts laughing]

[The two Georges, meanwhile, are discussing the song they are there to record]

John: “I don’t care how you feel. I feel ridiculous.”
Paul (high-pitched, sounding scouse): 
“We always thought it was a Welsch grammar school,”
“like, y’know, Belly, aye!”

[tape edit]

John: “Come back, Neil.”
Paul (almost chanting): “Cum back, Neil. . . Cum back, Neil. . .”
” . . .e ruskie juvna. .”

[tape edit]

Paul: “That was wrong.”
John (overly dramatic): “I’m so sorry. I feel so stupid.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
Paul (sounding like a crusty British director): 
“Look, Terrence. . .If you want to resign from Amur-Dramatics, do.”
John: “It’s not that. I put alot of money and thought into the whole thing.”
Paul (still playing the part): “Yeh, but let’s face it. . .You’re crap!”

[John laughs]

Paul: ” . . .Aren’t you?”
John: “Well, alright, alright!”
Paul: “You were only doing walk-ons!”
John: “Who’s father was it got the hall in the first place, aye?!”
Paul: “Yes, you were only doing walk-ons, and you’re farting those up.”
John: “Nell!”
Paul: “Oh, Christ. . .”
John: “Give us a kiss . . .ha! ha!”

[Work continues on George Harrison ‘s Think For Yourself ]

John: “Okay.”
Paul: “Mmmm.”
John: “Oh, that might be an idea. . .”
Paul (with funny voice): “Okay, let’s take it from the top and run it. .”
John: “Don’t Take It From The Top. .”
Paul: “I mean. . .”
George Martin: “Take it from the same place.”
Paul: “Yes, okay. . .Let’s run it from there, then.”

[There is some mumbling amongst Beatles and a tape edit]

John: “You know, a little thing like that, Paul, can just throw me.”
Paul: “Yeah.”
John: “Can you. . .can we just do the little bit together and let me. . .”
“’cause I’d forgotten already. . .Just the last one”

[John starts singing, but not seriously]

“‘And you’ve got time’. . .c’mon, c’mon.” [He starts to count in]

[John, Paul, and George then attempt a three-part harmony of the line in question, but it is quite out-of-tune, quickly breaking off into selected giggles. However, John Lennon quickly composes himself to attempt finishing the line]

George: “I don’t know. . .”
Paul: “What key are you in, Jock?”

[They then attempt to run-through the line a few times. Finally, a successful try, to which Paul comments:]

Paul: “That was it.”
John: “You should have gotten me there, boy, I was moving. . .”
“And tell that Norman to get back in here, you know.”
“He’s kinda groovin’ out the place, you know.”
Martin: “He’s here all the time.”
John: “Is he? I can bet that it’s just a drawing.”
George: “Okay.”

[John sings the dreaded line again, then says:]

John: “Oh, I’ve got it now. Listen to this.”
“I’m going to give expression as well.”

[tape edit]

[George Martin gets on the intercom explaining that what they had just recorded was still not quite right. However, he explains that only a portion would have to be retried]

George: “No, just from after that . . .”
“the two. . the last two ‘Do what you want to do.’ “
Martin: “Yeah.”

[Lennon is heard, in the background, off-mic, singing a line based on Do You Want To Know A Secret ]

John: Do you want to hold a penis? Do-wah-ooh. . 

Martin: “Here it comes.”

[tape edit]

George: “. .Last verse, where the thing about”
“‘You’ve got time to rectify all the things that you should.'”
“That bit. The bit that John finally got. Just after that.”
“Then we’ll do both of the ‘Do what you want to do’ ver- choruses.”

[tape edit]

Martin: “I’m sorry. I made I boo-boo.”
George: “Ahh. . .but that was-“
Paul: “Right.”
Martin: “Yeah, but we’ll need John again.”
George: “Oh.”
Paul: “C’mon John.”

[John is using the facilities]

George: “Why?”

[Martin explains that he accidentally wiped a portion from the tape]

George: “Ahh, naughty. . . . . .John?. . . .John, luv. . .”
Martin (in a mock-disciplinary tone, with a strange accent):
“Jonathon, what are you doing?”
Paul (off-mic, funny voice): “He’s just been. . .Where. . .”
“Is he messing behind the. . .. .I’ll get him.”

[George starts whistling the “Ringling Brothers” circus theme. Footsteps are soon heard running into the studio]

John: “What is it?”

[George tells him what’s going on, and that they’d have to give it another try]

John: “I was just singing in the toilet, so I think I should get it.”

[Martin cues them]

George: “Paul?”
Martin: “Going from ‘The future still looks good. .'”
George: “Oh, I. . . I see. Okay.”
John: “What’s that?”
George: “And so if you’ll. . .So it’s just (sings) ‘And you’ve got time to rectify all-“
John: “Just from there?”
Martin: “Yeah.”
George: “Just that line.”
John: “Not even the, ah-“
George: “No. . . There’ll be a lead in before.”
John: “Oh, God , yes. .of course there will-“
George (to Martin): “But will you rub off what else I’m doing?”
Martin: “No. Well, I’m just gonna start recording you.”
“I’ll give you a forehand when I start recording you on
“‘The future still looks good.'”
George: “Okay.”

[tape edit]

[After another unsuccessful attempt. . .]

John: “Oh, right in there, is it? Which bit was that?”

[George Harrison , meanwhile, is conversing with the booth]

George: “Yes, I will. Though I really didn’t know exactly”
“if that was the end of Think For Yourself “
“’cause I won’t be there with you.'”
“That’s what I thought it was going to be. . .”

[As George continues speaking, a tambourine starts banging in the background]

George: “Well, it’s hard to recognize it just from the chords”
“which line I’m up to really.”
Martin: “You want to hear your words then?”
George: “No.”
John: “No, God . .We have never heard them once, you fool”
“No wonder we’ve been getting it wrong.”
Martin: “I’m hearing them up here.”
John: “Wonderful for you.”
Martin: “Very lovely.”
George: “I wonder if Ron Richards is free tonight?”

[John laughs]

Martin: “Here it comes.”
John: “Paul?”
Paul: “I just got in from Olympia. I lit the torch.”